What Would It Be Like Without You?
by iKaffee
Summary: Matt is in love with Mello, and he's sure Mello doesn't love him back. What would happen if Mello got kidnapped?
1. Introduction

Hey, guys! My first story, huh? Well, here's the intro, or whatever you like to call it.

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Mello. The name never leaves my mind. When I first met him, I never knew how I would feel. The first impression was an egotistical irritating teenager who ate too much chocolate. However, as I got to know him, I learned differently. He had feelings, too. He cared about me. He were the most beautiful boy I had ever met. I had never felt this way about anyone, since my life was filled with nothingness before him. Here I am, my admiring unbeknownst to him. Mello. I think I love him.

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What'd you think? Review, please.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1, here we go. I hope you like it.

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"Good morning, Matt," Mello said gregariously to me as he was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes to see his beautiful face. I breathed in to say what was on my mind, and quickly caught myself.

"Mello, I really do wish you would quit being so damn _happy _in the morning!" I said unhappily to him.

"I can't help it," he said to me. "I'm sorry if it bothers you."

I pondered that for a moment. "Don't worry about it." Mello smiled. "We had best get to breakfast," I told him quickly.

"Yes, we had. They have chocolate muffins today! _Sehr gut!_ I've been waiting all week for this," Mello said excitedly. I blinked at him admiring how happy he looked. He had even slipped into German again, something he only did if he was really happy; it had been his second language, and he had enjoyed it so much he had begun speaking it regularly. _I could never make him feel this way, _I thought. _I'm not good enough for him._ Then I got out of bed and went into my closet to get dressed. I peered into my mirror just as I was taking off my shirt and was surprised to find Mello looking at me. _Could it be… _I wondered. _Of course not. He could never feel that way about me. And he'd hit me if he knew I was thinking these things._

He and I walked quietly to breakfast, down the many hallways of the Wammy's orphanage. I shot quick sideways glances at him, admiring his almost feminine features that I found so beautiful. I felt like this walk was stretching on forever; I wanted to reach the entrance to the mess hall so I could at least distract myself a little from his perfect face.

"Chocolate!" he cried blissfully. I couldn't believe the almost orgasmic sensation he could achieve from chocolate. I could never compete with that. Although, with him eating chocolate all the time, I wondered how his mouth tasted.

But no. I couldn't think this way. I thanked the heavens once again that Mello couldn't read my mind.

We walked into the line for food, and prepared for a long wait. Unfortunately, due to the time to be spent on waiting, I was given free time to admire his tight clothing, although I was more concerned with what was under it. Thanks to the skintight clothing, there wasn't much more to imagine. His ass was painfully hard to miss. And, as if things weren't bad enough, it was _nice._ It wasn't like he had no ass, it was obviously there and was beautiful. The girls around here had noticed the same thing, although Mello had never dated a girl since he had entered Wammy's. This surprised me, since his attitude suggested he would be one to date a lot. Regrettably, in my mind, this meant that even if he were gay, he wouldn't date me.

At the beginning of the food tables, Mello was almost bouncing with excitement. "Finally!" he said. "I thought we'd never reach the food!" I grinned at that. His excitement was contagious.

"Mello, calm down. It's just breakfast. Most people aren't even this excited by sex," I choked out between laughs.

"Do you remember when I bought you that new video game console last Christmas?" He queried.

"…Yes."

"Well, this is similar to that, only… colossally less expensive. Enormously less expensive."

"That's true," I admitted in defeat.

By this time in line, we had already passed eggs, biscuits, bacon, and toast; about a meter away was the chocolate muffins. "Finally!" Mello said at a pitch that was almost a shriek. He grabbed two, stuck another in his mouth, and kept one in his hand.

"Mello, you're going to get fat later in life, so fat you'll not be able to look good in tight clothes. Your ass will change from nice to-" I quickly cut off the statement. Mello turned around and stared at me with a chocolate muffin in his mouth. I chuckled. "That came out a little differently than I had hoped it would."

"Obviously."

"Well, shall we sit our nice asses down?" I inqured.

"I think that would be good. I can only eat so much while standing," he complained. We walked over to a small square table at the far end of the cafeteria with only four seats. As he began to consume the food in an almost sexual manner, and as I watched him (it's not as though I needed to eat _that much _anyway), I noticed another person walking in our direction, towards our table. His white hair glinted in the sun shining from the window.

Near.

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The second chapter is currently in progress. I'm writing for a couple hours a day, but I've been writing very slowly lately. It's been hard to write, for some reason.


	3. Chapter 2

Here it is, guys! Chapter two, finally. For your entertainment. Next chapter hasn't even been started, I plan on beginning it tonight...

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Near was my biggest worry. He was the top student in the whole orphanage; he would catch on pretty quickly if I wasn't careful of my behavior around Mello. I just decided to be quiet when he took a set next to Mello. I had observed his attachment to my best friend, and at times I almost thought I had competition. Fortunately, as far as I could tell, he had made no advances towards Mello.

"Mello, you're going to choke," Near said slightly teasingly.

"No," Mello mumbled between bites. "I haven't choked in years."

"I guess that's not surprising. You sure aren't going to choke on chocolate. You eat it in such a slow and sexual manner I think you're trying to seduce it into your stomach."

I had to bite my lip to suppress a snicker at that. Poor Mello. He blushed deeply at that remark. _His cheeks turn such a beautiful color when he blushes, _I considered silently. _How I'd like to just sit next to him -or better yet, lay- and just run my fingertips along his cheek._ _If only…_

"Matt, you don't seem to be hungry today. What's on your mind?" Near questioned.

"Nothing. I've just lost my appetite a bit; I just talked to my brother yesterday, and something he said worried me." Which, of course, was a lie. What else could you expect? I wasn't about to go telling him the truth. Although… that could be quite helpful, if he would help me, that is. I'd just have to get him in private, which wouldn't be that hard; his room was just down from the one Mello and I shared. As I considered this, I quickly turned my head down, to attempt to convey that I didn't want to talk about it. Thankfully, no more questions were asked.

"Well, guys, I'm going to go to first period class," Near said after he realized that there would be no more conversation occurring at this table.

"We should probably do the same; we're one of the last people in the cafeteria right now," I said to Mello. He nodded and quickly stood up and began walking towards the trash cans and dish washer, having finished his muffins. "Mello, I'll take your tray. Go ahead to first period." He stopped immediately.

"O-okay," he stuttered. _Am I really that obvious? _I wondered to myself. _Yes, probably so._

"Okay. Quickly give me your tray, you need to go." He complied, and left for class. I walked with both our trays, mine barely picked at and his empty, and threw away the Styrofoam plate and put the plastic tray in the dishwashing rack that led to the large machine. When I walked away and stepped outside the door into the hallway, I was surprised to find Mello waiting for me; I was secretly happy, because I felt lost without him. _It's like we were meant for each other, _I pondered.

By the time we arrived at class, nearly the entire rest of the class was already there. Only a couple students were missing. Sadly, there were no two seats close enough to each other for near and I to sit together and talk during class. I quietly slipped into a seat towards the back of the room. Mello claimed a seat in the same row as me, but closer to the front. _I can watch him without him knowing, _I considered. This seemed to be a good option. I spent the entire thirty minutes watching the back of his head and admiring the way his blonde hair lay across his neck. _A neck I'd like to kiss,_ I thought.

I had admitted to myself during the preceding period that I _was _indeed gay. There was no other way to explain my feelings for Mello. This revelation opened up avenues for more questions, which I had to close off eventually due to the quantity of them. _Now, _I thought, _I need to know if Mello feels the same about me._ This recent dilemma could pose a problem to my so-far-so-good prospect.

At this point, Mello and I were in science class with our damn near deaf teacher. "_Mello,_" I whispered sharply. "_Mello._"

"What is it, Matt?"

"That girl over there, what's her name… Jessica? Yeah, that little slut's staring at me. What should I do?"

His face took on a strange look I'd never seen on him before that almost looked like he was defending a possession of his. "I'll take care of it later, don't worry about it." I could tell he was struggling to contain his emotions. _What could possibly be upsetting him? _I pondered. _Maybe he…_

An old man entered the room, suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. "Mello," he began. "Would you please come with me?"

Mello looked up. _No… _I thought. "Goodbye," I whispered. "See you later." He stood up and walked to the front of the classroom.

The man continued the calm look on his face. "Follow me," he said. _There's something odd about him. I remember him. The face… it seems I know him. Who is he? _I wondered. Then, suddenly, I remembered him.

He was none other than my father!

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Surprise! Review, let me know of any errors. I'm sorry if there are any in the latter part of it, I haven't had a lot of time to proofread it. I'll fix them tomorrow, though, if I find any.


	4. Chapter 3

Here we go. I'm making the stuff about Matt's father up as I go along; do we even know anything about him? I haven't seen the end of the anime.

Also, I feel I should warn you: if children being raped bothers you, I suggest you STOP reading this story now. If you think I should change the rating of this story to M, tell me.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the italicized print is a flashback.

_My father, _I thought, horrified. And now, he's taking my best friend! What he did to me as a child…

_I lay beneath the huge man, the huge, stinking man. _What have I done to deserve this? _I would wonder. "OW!" I would try to scream, my cry muffled by the pillow between my teeth as he pushed himself further and further into my body. Blow after blow I would receive unto my bruised insides as he repeatedly slammed his thick, firm appendage into me. Finally, my salvation would arrive; I would feel his fluids filling me, and he would release a stifled moan. He would slip himself out and walk to the shower to get cleaned off. And I would lay there for hours. Crying._

Raw, unhealed memories flooded my mind, and I was filled with a passion to get help for my friend and only love. _L. Maybe he can help, _I thought desperately. "Excuse me, sir?" I asked my teacher.

"Yes, Matt?" he replied.

"I have something very important to attend to, involving the life of another student that may be compromised if I don't go now."

"Umm…" he began as the rest of the class turned around and looked at me with looks of wonderment on their faces. "If I find you're lying to me, Matt, I'll punish you severely."

"I assure you, sir, I'm not lying."

"Very well. Please proceed to the computer lab. I'll connect you to L via the webcam."

Several minutes later, once we had passed through all the different security measures to get into the computer and link to L, a pale face with very wide, observant eyes appeared.

"Moshi moshi," L said blandly.

"L, sir, Matt here has something he would like to talk with you about. I'll leave the two of you alone, for I need to return to my class, or I'm sure they'll get completely out of control."

"Very well; you're dismissed. Matt, what would you like to talk with me about?"

"L, I assure you that all the things I'm about to tell you are true. I need you to understand this before I begin," I solemnly muttered to the computer after the aforementioned teacher had left.

"Very well."

"L," I began, "you remember the reason I was brought to this orphanage. My father raped me. I was assured I'd never have to see him again. My best friend, Mello, calmed me during my nightmares of him. Mello was the kindest anyone had ever been to me, and he taught me that everyone in the world wasn't bad. There were good things, as well. Today, I was crushed to have my friend taken from me. I'll confide my biggest secret in you. I'm in love with him. Imagine having the person you care about most in your life taken away." He was looking at me with an unchanged expression of somberness that I was sure he believed me. I continued.

"I was horrified -terrified- to see a face I had hoped _never _to see again in my life. I was told I wouldn't, as previously mentioned, if you'll recall. That's right, L. I saw him again today, and he took Mello with him. He came into the classroom, called to Mello, and left with him. I have no idea where they've gone. Help me find him." It was not a request. It was an order.

L paused for a moment, considering everything I'd told him. "Matt, thank you for coming to me first. That was a wise option; you are definitely a good choice for this orphanage. I understand how sorrowful you feel. I request your assistance in the search of Mello. My friend Light Yagami will also help us. I also ask you to find out if Near would like to help; we could use his intelligence. Quickly, now. I'll be there within an hour; I'm in England already. Bring a small bag of clothes, and tell Near to do the same. Wait for me in front of the orphanage. We're going to find Mello, Matt."

I rushed from the computer lab into second period, my German class; Mello and I had needed a way to write notes somewhat secretly, and this class was only taken by one student other than us, Near.

"Excuse me, sir, but I have orders from L to take Near from this class," I said clearly from the door.

"Very well," Herr Schender said in a heavily accented voice, looking curious, though smart enough to know not to ask. "Near, you may go with Matt."

Once we were in the hallway, away from Herr Schender, Near began to inquire into the nature of his being withdrawn from class.

"Why am I coming with you?"

"Mello is in trouble," I said. "He's been kidnapped, by my pedophile father, and will most likely be abused and possibly even raped if he's not saved in time. L has requested your assistance in finding him, and I request the same. You have a choice in the matter."

"What do you honestly think I'm going to choose?"

"Very good. Pack a small bag with a couple days' clothing and meet me out in front of the orphanage; L is going to pick us up there."

He looked at me with shock on his face. "How is L going to get- Never mind. We'll deal with that later. I'll see you in a few minutes," he said, as began walking towards his room.

By the time I got to my room, I was almost in tears. _What if we don't find him? _I wondered, horrified.

Wow that was gay.


	5. Chapter 4

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys! Haven't had time, plus I couldn't find the old files.

Also: Thanks for the reviews! I've gotten so many lately.

_Word count: 507_

_Rating: T_

_Finished: 12.14.08_

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I walked from my room with my small canvas bag in hand. As I was preparing to enter the room of Near, the door abruptly slid open and the pale pajama-clad boy appeared from behind it, a light teddy bear backpack containing all his luggage. We walked soundlessly to the door and made our stealthy escape.

Throughout the entire limo ride, I had my laptop in use. I was flicking through several pages almost simultaneously, attempting to trace Mello's cell phone. Pointlessly, apparently. Mello's cellular firewall was prohibiting me from locating him. Eventually, after I realized it was a waste of time, I gave up and began to think. Finally, I began to drift into a dream-like state.

Everything began to blur together, my sorrow, affection, and the entirety of the tragedy of the loss of Mello. Subsequently, it all clicked together, and enlightenment woke me with a start. Of course! My father had gone to Germany. I quickly informed L of this piece of intuition.

"And what leads you to believe this, Matt?" he inquired expressionlessly.

"My father," I began, after taking a deep breath, "was a member of a large criminal society in Germany. The society's front was that they were a society of intellectuals, which of course was complete nonsense. They were fools, but they knew how to keep up a lustrous veneer, unfortunately. This society quickly became one of the best known criminal societies in the underground of Germany. They met in a different hamlet each month, with a meeting occurring once every week. Certainly, it ashamed me to an even greater extent once I discovered what my father was doing each Wednesday night.

"Of course, this society, as all powerful societies eventually do, disbanded. However, I had a feeling that some of the exceptionally skillful members had kept contact with each other. This being so, I investigated and almost immediately found it true, not to my surprise, of course. The name for the society had been _Wahrheit ist Lüge_, or 'Truth is a Lie', and as far as I know they have continued this name.

"This society has no doubt discovered the purpose of the Wammy's Orphanage, and most likely is kidnapping the top students. Near," I said, addressing the attentive albino, "you are the most obvious choice, if this is the correct conclusion. Mello was probably chosen to lead us off this conclusion because he was the second smartest student. _Wahrheit ist Lüge _knows that the truth behind their society will be revealed in time if they aren't careful, and carefulness goes hand in hand with thoroughness. Thoroughness can be achieved in this case by eliminating potentialsavant detectives.

"And thus," I concluded, "Mello is gone. His recovery is imminent, and is the entirety of everything important to me right now. Off to Germany."

My words were met with somewhat shocked stares and a great deal of silence.

"Well," L said, finally breaking the quiet, "I guess we're going to Germany."

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Hey! Look at that, I wrote a chapter!

But... **will **they find Mello? **Will **the live to tell the tale? Dun-dun-dun.


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